A journey of weight loss begins with….

I did it.

I joined that club.  You know, the one that’s like AA for fat people.  Weight Watchers.

No they don’t pay me to write this blog.   They don’t endorse me and I don’t endorse them.  I just pay them a lot of money to torture me with math in the form of points and scales.

So, why did I start this blog?  Because I’m a new Weight Watchers member.  I completed my first week yesterday to the tune of gaining 1.8 pounds.  I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to work that way.

I watched my points like a hawk, so I don’t know what happened.  It was definitely not those chocolate covered macaroons from Presti’s or the spaghetti at Guarino’s.  I did have a quesadilla at Ruby Tuesdays without calculating the points before eating it.  Bad move.  Never do this.  It was a whopping 36 points!

Truly, I didn’t do that badly where my points are concerned.  I’ve eaten more vegetables and salad this week than most bunnies I know.  I have to fess up to having more than just a weight problem.  I also have an endocrine disorder called PCOS which makes being a girl a hundred times harder than it needs to be by making my periods and the week before them a living hell.  This lovely little ailment is something I’ve struggled with nearly all my life.  It is specially designed to work against my weight loss efforts by screwing with my metabolism and the way my body processes insulin and sugar.  I am not diabetic, but I could be later in life if I don’t get this under control now.  PCOS has ruined my body, and, let’s be honest, my love affair with yummy food and cake doesn’t help.   I am, however, convinced that if I work hard enough I can kick PCOS in the pants right along with the umpteen pounds I need to lose, because, once upon a time, I was skinny.

And I’m not talking about vanity pounds here.  I truly need to lose the amount an adult weighs.  A really big adult, no less.  I’ve tried in the past to lose weight, long before I knew I had PCOS.  I would lose like crazy–35 pounds in two months–and then……nothing.  It was discouraging to say the least.

Me, running the sweeper.  I chose the worst possible picture to post so you can see that I'm no Skinny Minnie.  I'm the real deal, folks.  Think I can lose what I need to?

Me, running the sweeper. I chose the worst possible picture to post so you can see that I’m no Skinny Minnie. I’m the real deal, folks. Think I can lose what I need to?

But, more than just wanting to be skinny, I want to be healthy.  I have two growing boys I’m raising.  At ten and twelve years old, I can’t be an overweight blob sitting on the couch moaning about what I can’t physically do anymore.  I have a husband who would like to buy me lingerie, something that I refuse to wear now because I feel like a hippo covered in lace.

What I’ve come to learn since my diagnosis is that there is a lot I can do and a lot I can’t.

I CAN lose weight.

I CAN work harder to make that happen.

When my period is right around the corner–the week before and the week of always being tortuously painful for me–I CAN’T expect my body to work with me.  I am going to gain weight that I CAN’T control.

I also CAN’T use PCOS as a crutch to blow off my weight loss efforts.  Truly, just because I gained this week doesn’t mean I gained weight.  My ankles are swollen and I’m hardly peeing at all.  I’m retaining water like a boss.  That’s what I’m doing.  I can’t let that 1.8 pounds give me an excuse to go over my daily and weekly points allowance.  I have to keep my chin up and keep chugging along.

So, cross your fingers that next week, after I start my period, I’ll take a giant pee and lose like ten pounds.

That could happen, right?


About Miranda Gargasz

Miranda Gargasz is a freelance writer. Many of her essays can be found on sites like ScaryMommy, The Christian Science Monitor and The Huffington Post. In 2014, she published Lemonade and Holy Stuff and in 2016 she published Plus Size Mama: An overweight mom gets real about weight loss. She is also a contributor to Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee, and Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever. Her debut novel, Haunting Suspicion, is being sent to agents for representation. She is currently working on her second novel, Dragonfly, about learning to love what you have before it's gone.
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18 Responses to A journey of weight loss begins with….

  1. Beth Ann says:

    You go, girl!!! I know you can do it. It is not easy to lose weight–trust me. I lost some 2 years ago and have gained it all back due to bad choices in eating and lack of exercise. I bought a juicer today in an effort to at least try to do a bit better with some choices. I prefer walking outdoors for my exercise so if only the weather would cooperate I could add that to my healthy habits again. I have no excuses. Absolutely none. But it just takes saying you are going to do it and stick with it. That is what I don’t do. Good for you for starting this blog to hold you accountable. Weight Watchers worked for my sister but then she is kind of obsessive about stuff so all we hear about is points…..but it worked for her and I never tried it so I shouldn’t bash her about that! Good luck! I know you can do it!

  2. Maria Bohuslawsky says:

    Alright Miranda, I’m in this with you….I’ve been gaining for over 2 years now and I just said ENOUGH! I joined Jenny Craig last week, mostly because I have a lifetime membership and it costs me nothing but some food, which I don’t buy an entire weeks worth so it’s worth it for me….It’s all about the accountability! knowing I have to check in with my consultant once a week keeps me going. Granted, this is only my second week, but I’m down 6.4 lbs and I feel good about it. I still have about 75 more to go, but I’m motivated. I too can’t stand the fact that my boys are active and I CAN’T be. I physically can’t keep up. So I am with you on this journey lady!! You CAN do this. You’re such a great person, you deserve it! So stay motivated no matter what!!! Love ya!!

    • Thanks, Maria! And CONGRATULATIONS on the weight loss! Woo hoo! I thought blogging about his would help me feel accountable, with help from comments like yours, I’m sure it will also be motivational!

  3. Miranda, if you’re hardly peeing at all, that could signal a kidney problem that’s contributing to the weight – water weight. Have you had a thorough kidney work-up?

    • Yeah, it’s all part of the PCOS. It affects every organ in my body that secretes any hormone. Basically, they are all out of control. I have gained as much as 20 pounds the week before my period and, like magic, it’s gone the second day. Of course, I’m doing nothing but peeing the first day of my period. It’s crazy. I have a workup done every six months.

  4. Also, have you been to an endocrinologist? Low thyroid and high adrenal cortical steroids can both result in weight gain that is very hard to control.

    • Right now I take Metformin to help control the PCOS, but it is still hard. I’m also having a hard time because my doc thinks I’m in perimenopause. Right now we’re waiting to see about some test results because I may also be staring at a hysterectomy soon because of endometriosis. Isn’t being a girl great?

  5. Good luck with your weight loss journey .. I’m currently doing the same thing, not WW but trying to lose the weight and kicking PCOS in the pants!! Stick with it sister .. we’ll do it!!

  6. Oh, Sista, I’m SOOOOOOOOOO proud of you! This is the best news I’ve heard in a long, long while! I did Weight Watchers years ago, and it works well! Really well——

    I should do this with you, as I have probably gained 30 pound since I last saw you. Seriously. I have stopped drinking diet soda, and doing so has been HARD! I think I’m eating to cope. Plus, we are so busy, I have no time to exercise–which is key for me maintaining any kind of control over my weight.

    Sara and I just got back from taking my mom to PA last night. We think we may be able to delay our trip to Ohio and see you the following weekend–or something. I need to try to call you so I can explain what’s going on. We’re hoping to be on our way to Ecuador by May 1st.

    Hugs to you, my dear. We LOVE you!

    Kathy and Sara

    • Thanks! I’m sure the stress you’re going through has A LOT to do with you gaining weight. Lord knows a good mac and cheese or a chubby slice of pizza helps relieve some of that! Don’t stress about making it my way. Seriously! You’re moving to Ecuador not another galaxy! We’ll see each other when the time is right.

  7. Good luck, girl! Wonderbutt just found out he is 20 pounds overweight, which is kind of significant for a bulldog, so we’re working on our canine version of Weight Watchers over here.

  8. Pingback: “Points” should be a four letter word | Plus Size Mama

  9. Pingback: WeightJournal.com | Missing meetings counterproductive for me? (Weigh-in for April 16, 2013)

  10. Pingback: Ding! Ding! Ding! Round Two! | Plus Size Mama

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