The fog is clearing….

Let’s face it.  I’ve been in a funk rolled in desperation and frustration, then deep fried in depression.

So much has been going on in my life the last few weeks (and if I’m honest, things have been off for the better part of a year–maybe more).  There’s been a personal crisis for nearly every member of my family and I think I’ve reached mine.  Fingers crossed.

You see, I wrote about my thoughts to have gastric bypass surgery to help me in my stagnated weight loss plans.  I also wrote about the show I watched called “My 600 Pound Life.”

I think it affected me way more than I first let on, because here’s the thing:  It helped me reach my “Enough is Enough” line.  You know what line I’m talking about.  The one where you decide that the bullshit stops here and now.

For the past two/three weeks I’ve been a woman on a mission.  And that mission is ROCKIN’ right now.  My doctor changed my meds for PCOS and coupled with my altered eating plan (low carbs–bye, bye bread for most days–hello lots and lots of fruit and veggies) I’ve dropped 13 pounds.

But wait, there’s more.

Three of those pounds I lost DURING my period!  That’s something that has NEVER happened!

And there’s more….

For Mother’s Day my husband splurged and got a family membership to the Y.  Today, our first day as members, I went swimming for 2 glorious hours.

And the hits keep on coming.

I cheated.  I ate a zinger.  And IT. WAS. AWFUL.  Why was I shoveling this shit into my mouth so often thinking it tasted like heaven rolled in coconut?!  Instead of filling up on that garbage, I ate the black bean and corn salsa I made.  So good.  So filling.  So much more satisfying.

The reality of that wretched snack hit me like a brick wall.  I’d heard people say that kind of stuff about foods they loved at my WW meetings and always thought they were full of it.  They were RIGHT!

I’ve still got health concerns going on and I’m not out of the woods by any stretch where they are concerned, however, I have a plan of attack that I am totally embracing this week.

The scale cannot have control over me.  The scale doesn’t tell me anything worthy of remembering.  It tells me what kind of effect gravity has on my body.   It doesn’t tell anyone that I ate right.  It doesn’t tell anyone that I shopped right.  It doesn’t tell anyone that I worked out.  It doesn’t tell anyone that I gave up Diet Dr. Pepper (okay, I have one once a week–TRUTH).  It doesn’t tell anyone that I eat red meat only 2-3 times a week.  It doesn’t tell anyone that I eat bread maybe twice a week as opposed to every meal like I used to.  It doesn’t tell anyone that I can no longer stand sweets (exception being carrot cake made from scratch–WHICH I made and still didn’t have, so SCREW YOU, SCALE!).  It can’t tell me or anyone else that I purchased a bathing suit for my newly minted Y membership and I ordered that sucker two sizes TOO BIG!!!!!!  BOOYAH!!!!!!

I feel pretty confident that Thursday will show up and I will make that scale my bitch.

Hanging this on my fridge helps me realize who I really answer to when I make poor choices.

Miranda’s Bitch

No joke.



About Miranda Gargasz

Miranda Gargasz is a freelance writer. Many of her essays can be found on sites like ScaryMommy, The Christian Science Monitor and The Huffington Post. In 2014, she published Lemonade and Holy Stuff and in 2016 she published Plus Size Mama: An overweight mom gets real about weight loss. She is also a contributor to Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee, and Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever. Her debut novel, Haunting Suspicion, is being sent to agents for representation. She is currently working on her second novel, Dragonfly, about learning to love what you have before it's gone.
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17 Responses to The fog is clearing….

  1. Brava! Now THAT’s the way it’s done.

  2. Losing weight during your period IS the perfect example of making that scale your bitch!! I have weigh in once a week and I don’t touch the scale at home. 1. Because it only cost $16 and it’s probably not very accurate 2. Because if it shows me a number I hate, I get discouraged!

    I’m learning that exercise is doing it for my size and that the number on the scale means very little. The thing that was the most encouraging to me was my trainer–who is in awesome, gorgeous, kick ass, perfect muscular shape–telling me that she weighs 180! This girl is tiny, but is solid muscle. Muscle really does weigh 3 times more than fat. Your Y membership is going to do wonders for you in terms of inches lost.

    You keep reigning that scale in, and bitch slap it at the Y if it gets out of hand!

  3. Beth Ann says:

    Way to go, Miranda. You’ve got this. Focus and determination and knowing that there will be times when you don’t eat perfectly are all part of the experience. You are doing great!

  4. Joan says:

    Miranda I posted earlier through your email alert but can’t find it…so the jist of what I said is bravo – you are AWESOME! I don’t know you well but what I’ve seen on Thursday night is the quiet side of you. But this past Thursday night, something was different and I didn’t know what until I read this. You’re doing what it takes to be the healthy you that you want to be, and the benefits are already showing. With ease you said hello to me and it was good to see me off crutches. You’re showing the energetic, enthusiastic side of you and it’s so great to see! Keep up the great work and know that there will be times when it’s not so easy but do not ever give up!!!!!

  5. Congrats, Miranda! You’ve got this.

  6. Megan says:

    Such awesome news!!! Congrats on the great loss!!

  7. OMG!!! This is ALLLLLLL SOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME! I knew things were bound to look up. Sorry to be so late getting here, my friend. I just don’t seem able to keep up. Don’t know why, but I am SOOOO psyched for YOU!

    Hugs from Ecuador,

    • Don’t sweat the small stuff, Sista! If you don’t get around to reading my blog I won’t hold it against you! You have a life, I know this. Let’s cross our fingers and hope the weight keeps coming off!

  8. Don’t know why that’s the case for me. Hit post before editing. Bad idea!

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